This seemed like a good opportunity to brag on my man- and I can't resist that……especially since he, or a conversation with him, provides the inspiration for most of the articles I write these days.  Encouraging those around us is a conversation we’ve had many, many times.  Ben is incredible…and amongst many other things, he’s a wonderful encourager.  Of me, yes, everyday- the biggest encouragement in my life…but it doesn’t stop there, as he continually encourages others, as well- and was a blessing to me many times long before either of us had any idea of what God was up to. 

Encouraging Your Family

            We take our family for granted so often.  Since we live with them, and they’re always there, we often forget to take the time to thank them for all they do for us.  Our family is so vital, and needs our encouragement.  They need to be reminded that you appreciate them- don’t just assume they know it. 

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            Our parents- they’re amazing!  They pour their lives out for us.  Have you thanked them recently?  Have you named something you really appreciate about them?  It’s such a small thing, but it can really mean a lot.  It could be something really small- thanking your Mom for taking the time to talk to you, or your Dad for providing so well for your family.

            You could also offer to take care of some of their work for them, which is another aspect of encouragement.  You might tell your Mom that you really appreciate all she does for you, and so you want her to take a break while you take over her duties for that day.  Or offer to clean out your Dad’s work area.  You could spend a Saturday filling the freezer with meals.  Or wash the cars.  You might write a note of thanks to your parents.  With a small amount of creativity, the possibilities are endless.    

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            Our siblings need our encouragement, too.  Not flattery- not just making something up.  Each and every person has some good in them- and generally a whole lot.  I’ve found it to be especially important to work hard at encouraging those who do have a lot of “more visible” areas in their life to work on.  I have a few siblings like that, and when evaluating, have found that I’m not encouraging them very much.  It’s all too easy to point out some of their problem areas, but say nothing of the good in them.  A little bit of encouragement would go a whole lot further than constantly tearing them down! 

            Here’s one example: suppose you have a sibling or child that really struggles with math.  You could constantly focus on math and improving in this area- but if you just focus on what they don’t know, it wouldn’t take much to make them feel like an academic failure.  If, however, they really excel with another subject, balance it out- and don’t forget to tell them how great they’re doing in other subjects.  Maybe your sibling loves to write, but has horrible grammar or spelling.  Leave it alone!  Encourage their creativity, and wait a while before you begin working on grammar.  You can turn a writer into someone who despises writing pretty quick, just with marking up the whole page, pointing out every grammatical error.

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            Some of you are married, or engaged.  It’s been a great joy to devote my life to trying to be an encouragement to my man.  What a privilege to be his primary encourager, to love him through his battles, to support him, to lift him up.  As your husband’s helpmeet, you get to share the journey with him- you get to hear about his ideas, and follow where he leads your family.  For the guys reading this, some of the ideas get flipped around, but the principles stay the same- my man is an amazing example of an encouraging husband(-to-be).  Encouraging your spouse could come in many different forms- sometimes it might be words, while others it could be through serving, or through listening to and loving them, through showing how much they mean to you.  The person you commit the rest of your life to is the most important person in your life.  You’ll spend every day for the rest of your lives together- so you’ll encourage- or discourage- this person more than any other in your life.  Together, you can stand as a stronger unit than you were on your own, if you build each other up.  If not, you’re not going to have a lasting impact on anyone in your life.

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            Your kids…most of the same principles from the sibling section could just be inserted here, so because of that, and the fact I’m not a parent, I won’t say much on this aspect.  I did want to add, though, that your kids need your encouragement.  They thrive on it.  It presses them on to great heights to be told they’ve found favor with you.  The most important encourager in a child’s life is their parents.  If they can’t find favor with you, and you let peers and others outside the family be their encouragers, who do you think they’ll turn to when they’re in trouble?  When they’re hurt?  When they’re confused?  They’ll run to those they know won’t condemn them- those who’ve encouraged and accepted them. 

            You can make your kids obey you for as long as they’re under your rule.  But you can’t have their hearts unless they’re absolutely certain you love them just the way they are, and that you can see the good in them.

            A “good parent” won’t go to the other extreme, spoil their children, and act as if they could do no wrong.  Real love gives room for error, and loves in spite of mistakes, but it also spurs you on to greater heights.  An encourager will make you a better person.    

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            So often, having an impact on people outside of your family is viewed as much more important.  That’s why we have this ministry and that.  Some of them are good, or can be- but not if for one moment, they put your family down as of lesser importance.  It’s your family whose lives you’ll spend the rest of your life involved in- and it’s your family that you’ll have the greatest impact on, for better or worse.  It’s a choice that’s up to you- will you build your family up, or tear them down?  If your little brother is always being put down at home- if he’s told he’ll never succeed in life, just because he’s mischievous and has an adventure streak, what do you think he’ll end up being?  There might be some, who are very rare, that will succeed anyway.  But most?  They’ll just be what you expect them to…people that aren’t good for much, and won’t bother trying, because there’s seemingly no use.  What about your husband?  How can he follow the dreams God’s given him with a nagging wife, always tearing him down, and using every failure to remind him of why it wasn’t a good idea in the first place?  How about the workaholic husband, who doesn’t have time for his family?  A wife needs her husband to be there for her, and kids need their dad.  There’s the daughter, too…the daughter who just isn’t there academically.  The daughter who grows up assuming she can’t learn anything…and will eventually stop trying.

            Amazing people, each with tons of potential…but they need their family to see it in them.  They have to know that they are worth a lot to you.  It’s simple- it takes a very small amount of time.  In fact, after constantly focusing on in for a while, it’ll eventually just become a way of life to build up, instead of tearing down.  I know I still have a long road to travel- it’s been a journey.  None of us are perfect or ever will be- but we can still be used for the better in the lives of those closest to us.  Are you ready to join me?